In the kitchen, not everything turns out the way it’s intended. When I first started cooking, I was really into desserts. For some reason, I got it in my head that I wanted to learn how to make funnel cakes. How hard can it be to make and fry batter and open a can of filling?
I did some test runs with J’s supervision. I made up the batter. I heated up the oil, checking the temp with a wooden spoon.* I carefully piped out a long string of batter, criscrossing the pan. Naturally, I burnt the first one a little, but on subsequent batches, got the hang of it. They were delicious and I had something new in my repertoire!
Fast forward a month, and I’m at a girlfriend’s place having offered to make her funnel cakes. (Oh, and they were going to be dinner.) We had everything we needed: ingredients for batter, blueberry pie filling and vanilla ice cream. We were ready to pig out. I made up the batter, heated the oil and checked the temp. We seemed ready to go!
What I somehow failed to notice was that the oil wasn’t just hot, it was literally smoking. I added the batter to the oil and it…uh…crisped in seconds. Moments later, the entire kitchen was filled with smoke. We opened the window which, while helping to clear the smoke in the kitchen, was not especially effective at clearing the smoke that had completely taken over the two-story house.
Doors and windows were flung open; smoke detectors were temporarily removed; kitties were nonplussed. Twenty minutes later, we had pretty much cleared out the house and were ready to try again. I turned down the heat for the oil a smidge, kept two eagle eyes on the pot and tried again with my girlfriend ready to, once again, howl with laughter at me while ventilating the house. (It’s important to multitask.) Round two? Success! We gorged on perfectly fried funnel cakes, topped with blueberry filling and ice cream.
And what did I learn from this lung-clogging experience?
1. Keep a very, very close eye on the oil.
2. Fried deliciousness is worth a second shot.
*To see if your oil is hot enough, put the handle of a wooden spoon into the oil. If bubbles form around it, you’re good to go.
Food Nurd 
I never said thank you for not burning my house down in my absence. 😉
LMAO! Memories! They were delicious and the house only smelled like them for about a week 🙂